Secrets
by Calico Star
Summary: Everyone has secrets, but family sticks together through everything. Xover
1. Chapter 1

Tony noticed the blonde in Air Force dress blues as soon as she stepped off the elevator. She scanned the bullpen with the air of someone used to evaluating their surroundings. Her gaze focussed on Gibbs. Tony was entranced as a grin of pure mischief lit up her face, and struck dumb as her dancing eyes flicked to his and she held a finger to her lips, before turning to say something to her friends. She walked confidently through one of the other team's areas and along the back of the bullpen in order to come up behind Gibbs. Tony realised as she came closer that she was moving virtually silently, unnoticed by most of the agents on the floor.

Her eyes met Tony's again briefly as she stopped behind Gibbs. As she opened her mouth, Gibbs' hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, standing up and pulling her towards him in one fluid movement.

"Oh no you don't!" he warned, smirking down at her.

"Damn, it was worth a try though." she replied with a sparkling grin, and with that she wrapped her arms around him, her face nestled in his shoulder.

The shocked team just stared, trying to process what had just happened. Tony's muttered, "She's not even a redhead.", broke the daze everyone had fallen into. Sam's muffled giggle notified them that she and Gibbs had heard the comment too, and Tony cringed reflexively, anticipating the head slap he would likely receive.

"It's good to see you, Jethro."

"You too, Sam." They smiled at each other.

"So! I'm Tony di Nozzo, and you are?" Tony's smile was bright and hopeful.

"Tony!" Gibbs' tone was warning.

"It's OK, Jethro."

"It's not you I'm worried about, Sam, it's Tony." He smirked at Tony who was trying to decide if he had just been flattered or insulted, "She has a Level 3, Hand to Hand Combat."

"Stop trying to frighten him, Jethro, and introduce your team."

"Yes ma'am! Tony's already introduced himself, this is Special Agent McGee and Officer David. This is Colonel Sam Carter."

"You're Air Force. So what brings you to NCIS? Umm … sorry didn't mean that the way it sounded. No offence."

Sam laughed, "None taken. I was just in Washington for a thing, and decided to catch up with Jethro."

"Making friends, Carter?" The team had been so interested in the drama unfolding in front of them that they hadn't noticed the men walking up, and were surprised by the amused question from the grey haired General. "You can't take him home, there is no place on the plane."

Sam straightened to attention, but smiled at the General. Gibbs' mouth twitched but otherwise he gave no sign of having heard the comment. His team continued to watch the scene with interest.

"Sir, this is Special Agent Gibbs and his team, Jethro, this is General O'Neill, Dr Jackson and Murray."

After all the greetings had been exchanged, Gibbs caught Sam's hand and she turned to look at him. In response to the question in his eyes, she looked down, seeming strangely fragile for just a second, then meeting his eyes again, she squared her shoulders and nodded. He held her gaze for a long moment, thoughts and emotions flowing between them, before grabbing his phone and dialling.

"Abs, get your butt up here, asap."

Seeing the emotions in her eyes, he pulled her into his arms again and whispered in her ear.

Ducky motioned to the guys to step back towards the window as the elevator dinged and Gibbs and Sam stepped apart.

With a cry of "Sam-Sammity-Sam-Sam!", all the team saw was a blur of red and black with streaming ponytails, as Abby ran past and jumped into Sam's arms with a high pitched squeal. After Sam had set her down from swinging her round, the colours coalesced into a young Goth in red and black tartan with knee high boots.

"Sam. What you doing here? How are you? Where have you been? We haven't seen you in ages, what have you been doing?"

"Calm down, Abs. Breathe. Sorry, I know it's been a long time, but I don't get up to Washington all that often anymore. This was a rather sudden trip and I didn't have a chance to phone and let you know I was coming."

She caught Abs fist just before it made contact with Gibbs' shoulder.

"He didn't know either. Nobody did, I literally phoned Ducky half an hour ago, so he could arrange for entry."

Abby pouted briefly before her face settled back into a wide grin.

"We're going out. No arguments from anyone!" SG1 looked on with raised eyebrows as the NCIS team just smiled and accepted Abby's edict, only to feel the full force of Abby's personality when she turned to them.

"You guys too. We need to know what Sam's been up to these last few years. Besides," she continued in an aside to Sam, "they're hot!"

* * *

A/N: The first scene in "Surprise" could have ended two ways. I wrote the other one and it took off and ended up with a fic going in a totally different direction.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

And so they found themselves, almost without realizing how it happened, sitting at a restaurant of Abby's choice, with these people from Sam's past, people they hadn't even heard about before today. The first they had known of them was Sam saying she needed to drop in and say hi to some old friends after the medal ceremony. 

Gibbs' team were also observing, fascinated to see his interaction with this new person.

Sam and Gibbs, however, were watching Abby who was currently at the bar, chatting up the bartender as she waited for drinks.

"There is so much of her mother in her."

"You really think so."

"It still surprises me sometimes, I'll walk into the lab and she will do or say something, and if I closed my eyes I would swear it was her mother there with me. She gets so excited about a new discovery that when I come in she proceeds to explain at high speed exactly what she has found and how she found it, and I can only understand one word in three. I stop her and she backtracks and explains again in idiot language but her eyes are gleaming and begging me to understand just how amazing this new discovery is. Sound familiar?"

"It does to me." drawled Jack. "Must be a scientist thing."

Gibbs and Sam shared a smile.

"All her best qualities." he whispered softly.

"Thank you."

"She's a good kid."

"She is, isn't she." They watched her flirting with the bartender for a moment, before Sam turned to Gibbs with a grin of pure mischief.

"Can you imagine what it would have been like with the two of them?"

"I am not sure Washington would ever have been ready for that." There was a touch of sadness in his response which Sam picked up on immediately and she reached out for his hand. The others looked slightly confused at the turn the conversation had taken, only Ziva having any idea of what they were talking about.

"It must be hard sometimes, them being virtually the same age." She spoke softly.

"Sometimes, but she's a blessing. She saved my life, she gave me a reason to get up in the morning."

Not wanting to continue this topic, certainly not surrounded by his team, Jethro changed the subject.

"So how is the General?"

"He's fine. He's .. uh .. currently on attachment, so I don't see him all that often. Unfortunately."

"Unfortunately?!" His disbelief was clear, and SG1 were not sure what to make of it. It didn't seem like he had a lot of time for Sam's father. They knew things hadn't always been easy between father and daughter, but this seemed like an extreme reaction.

"Things are better, we reconnected a few years back, he's even been in contact with Mark." Sam soothed.

"Mmm."

"I know. I know. But don't you understand him a little better now?"

"I do understand, partly, but no, if …, if she had ..., there is no way I would have …."

She looked at him for a long moment, then nodded.

"I know, you're a good father, Jethro, you always were." Her fingers stroked his hand as she spoke, both of their faces solemn as their thoughts were taken up by the past.

"He's changed you know, especially since …"

She had almost said, since Selmak. After all, Selmak had been a big part in encouraging her father to really make the effort to connect with both his children again.

"Since?"

"Well he had a scare with cancer a couple of years back. Since then he has been making a real effort."

Well that was true too, sort of.

"So have you ever told him."

"No."

"Are you going to?"

"No. Rule number 4. If he knew, then he would want … things, things he can't have. And there are already enough of us wanting things we can't have."

"And if …?"

"If … then yes, I would tell. Do you think …?"

"Maybe."

"Really, I always thought …"

"Curiosity is a family trait apparently."

A sound from the Jack brought their attention back to their surroundings and they realized that even Teal'c was watching with raised brows as they had a whole conversation in half sentences. Blushing a little Sam just smiled at her team, while Gibbs glared at his.

"Damn I should have asked Abs for a Diet Coke."

Gibbs waved McGee down as he prepared to jump up and take her order over to Abby. The whole table stopped as Sam whistled, a low pitched set of three notes that somehow carried over the noise in the bar, and caused Abby to whirl round and face their table. Sam signed her request, then held up a hand as a signal to wait, before asking if anyone else wanted anything. Somewhat shellshocked headshakes were her only answer, and with a grin, she signed something further to Abby and they shared a laugh.

"McGee! You might want to go help Abby carry things over."


	3. Chapter 3

The conversation turned more general then, as Abby joined them and then the food arrived. Both teams were left considering the titbits of information that had been dropped and trying to fit them into their pictures of the players involved. 

They thought the shocks were over for the night, but as usual Abby managed to have the last laugh. Over dessert she asked Sam.

"So, when can I come and play with your alien?"

Shocked silence descended for a moment. Sam, though, just rolled her eyes.

"Abs."

"But Sam, can't you even get me just a sneak peak at the code. Code like that is like … the ultimate. I mean, just one look at a few lines of that code would get you McGee as a willing slave for life!! Have you managed to get him to talk yet, or is he still the strong silent type? Actually, I guess I'm just assuming he's a he, after all, even without the clothes you couldn't really tell sex. Although I really think you should reconsider the clothes! Have you given it a name? Maybe something like Ganesh, the god of wisdom?"

The SG team relaxed once they realized Abby was talking about the "hologram" and were able to enjoy the show.

"Or Thor?" was Jack's contribution.

"He's a little short to be the God of Thunder, don't ya think? Silly General Man."

Everyone smirked at Jack's reaction to this, unsure whether to laugh or pout.


	4. Chapter 4

The next time anyone at NCIS met SG1 wasn't as good a time. 

Gibbs entered Jen's office in answer to her summons to find it filled with four people, two of whom he had met before. With a moments pause the only evidence of his surprise, he greeted Daniel and Murray before looking questioningly at the other two. Daniel introduced them as Colonel Mitchell and Vala, and Gibbs noticed that like Murray and Daniel himself, the woman seemed to be a civilian attached to the Air Force.

"What brings you here? Is Sam OK?"

The feeling swirling in his gut got worse as Daniel looked away from him. Jen, who had been watching them all with interest, now weighed in.

"It seems that the case you have been investigating, the marines, have escalated to kidnapping."

"Sam?"

"Yes, and a teenager, Cassandra Frasier."

"You will be working with the Colonel's team, with them taking the lead." Jen said firmly, fully expecting a fight from Gibbs. She knew he wouldn't like it, but she had a feeling that the only reason they were even being allowed in on the investigation was the fact that it was him who had been in charge of the investigation so far. She could only hope that he would play nice with these people.

He surprised her by making no objection whatsoever, instead demanding all the details of Sam's disappearance.

Apparently Sam had not been on duty that weekend, so no-one had been overly surprised when she hadn't come in to the base on Saturday. However, she hadn't answered when Daniel had called her on Sunday, either on her home phone or her cell. When she had failed to reply to his messages within a few hours, he had gone with his gut instinct and called in the team to investigate. There was no evidence of her being forcibly removed at her home, but no clue as to where she had gone, although her car was missing.

When they couldn't even locate her using the subdermal tracker, everyone was worried and a full scale investigation was started. Her car was located parked in one of the malls, and the security guard confirmed it had been there overnight.

It was only the next morning, when Cassie didn't show up for class, and her roommate contacted Daniel that they realized she had been taken as well. Cassie had left on Saturday morning, saying she was going to meet Sam and her roommate had assumed when she didn't return Saturday that she had decided to stay the weekend.

"Why come to us?"

"General Landry was notified that one of our marines was being investigated, when he was flagged by your team as a contact and possible associate in your investigation."

"We questioned him and he admitted to giving the ring you are looking into information about Carter, although he swears he thought they were looking to steal tech, not kidnap her."


	5. Chapter 5

Gibbs stormed down the stairs, followed at a more decorous pace by SG1.

"Our smuggling ring case just jumped to priority. They have decided to branch out into kidnapping. Two confirmed victims – Lt Col Samantha Carter, USAF and a minor, Cassandra Frasier."

Without giving them a chance to do more than blink at the recognition of the name, he continued, handing a piece of paper to McGee as he passed.

"Address her car was discovered at. McGee ..."

"I'll pull all CCTV footage I can."

"DiNozzo ..."

"Put a trace on all their cell phones, on it Boss."

"David ..."

"Pull all their records again and check for property holdings."

"They are well trained." Vala stage whispered.

"Yeah, how come you guys don't respond like that when I issue orders?", was Cam's mostly mock complaint.

"Just say the word, I'll roll over so you can tickle my tummy."

"So not a picture I need to have in my head!"

Ignoring the byplay, Gibbs had marched off to the elevator. Detouring only to pick up a Caff Pow, he made his way to Abby's lab, trying to decide how best to break the news to her.

"Oh Gibbs! You shouldn't have." her eyes lit up at the sight of the drink in his hand. "But I'm going to accept anyway." Looking round at the mostly dark equipment she frowned, "Gibbs, I don't have anything for you. It's all quiet on the bad guy front for now, at least until you bring me some new evidence."

"McGee will be bringing you some CCTV to check, we have a kidnapping."

"No problemo, I'll get on it asap."

"Abby ..."

"Not that I'm glad someone got kidnapped, you know, but it has been pretty quiet ." She skipped round the lab, turning on her equipment.

"Abby, it is someone we know. It's Sam."

She sat heavily.

"Are you sure? I mean of course you're sure, but really? Our Sam? Well, what are you doing standing here? You should be out there finding her! Where's McGee with the video?"

"Abs, we'll find her!"

"Promise?"

"I promise!" He pulled her into his arms for a quick hug. Just then, McGee came rushing in.

"We got lucky! Mall security has gone digital, they are sending the files over now."

"McGee! There is nothing lucky about today! Nothing!"

He hung his head with a mumbled "Sorry." Gibbs caught Abby's eyes and held them, silently asking if she was going to be OK. She chewed on her lower lip, but then gave a firm nod. With a whisper of a smile Gibbs left the lab, to the sound of her ordering McGee to get started on the files.

Upstairs the discussion had turned to possible reasons for the abductions. Tony had pulled up photos of the two women.

They were coming up with too many possibilities for Sam, so they turned to Cassie.

"Why abduct the kid?"

"They were close, yes?" Ziva's expression was thoughtful, as she regarded the two photos.

"Yes, she and Sam had a special bond." It was Daniel who answered. Vala wandered over and wrapped her hands around his arm, giving her support.

"Maybe she is insurance."

"For Sam's co-operation, yes that seems likely."

"Did anyone know they were going to meet on Saturday?" Tony's question seemed to come out of left field, but Daniel answered.

"Sam never said anything to me? Did she mention it to you guys?"

"No." Vala responded, and the two men shook their heads.

"Would she have?"

"Yes. We all knew Cassie, in fact normally if she was coming to town for the weekend, we would all have gone out together."

"So it was probably a last minute thing."

Suddenly they realized where he was going with the questions. It was Ziva who summed it up.

"Which means that either someone was tracking their movements, or it was just chance that Cassie was taken as well."

Anything further was interrupted by Abby's voice, as she and McGee rushed up.

"We've got something!"


	6. Chapter 6

A few keystrokes, and the screen showed a cheerful Sam Carter walking up to one of the streetside cafés. Seated at one of the tables, facing the opposite direction to the approaching blonde and reading a book, was a girl with sandy hair. Her head shot up suddenly and she spun around, her eyes immediately finding Sam and a wide grin splitting her face. They began chatting animatedly as soon as Sam reached the table, interrupted only by the waiter taking their order.

"Interesting conversation, but nothing relevant. Guys, studying, etc." Abby's eyes twinkled with mischief, before becoming serious again as they fastforwarded through to a later time. "Then …"

They watched as a man approached the table and started talking to Sam. She stiffened and shook her head, but he continued talking. They saw her eyes flick over to the far corner and then to Cassie, widening slightly at whatever she saw, before both she and Cassie left with him.

"He managed to keep his face away from the cameras, so I haven't been able to get a picture and ID. I will keep trying, but I thought you would want to look at this first."

"Thanks Abs, could you go back to where the man comes in and then move it forward in slow motion."

"It appears she did not recognize him." They all nodded but only SG-1 understood the message underneath the statement. The man did not appear to be Goauld or Jaffa either, as Sam showed no sign of reaction to his approach.

"Stop there, what is she looking at?"

"Good eye, Gibbs. We managed to find another camera and this is what we found."

With a flourish she clicked the control, and they were faced with a group of kids chatting and eating. At first they couldn't see anything, but then Abby pointed it out and they saw the flickering dots showing on the children's chests.

"They threatened them to make her go quietly."

Beeping from Ziva's computer drew their attention, and she announced.

"We have a list of the property that any members of the group have leased, there are a number of warehouse facilities."

Ziva brought up a map of DC marked with the positions of the warehouses.

"There are too many to hit all at once, and if we get the wrong one, we may end up warning them and they could move or kill the hostages."

"Is it possible to see the surroundings of these sites? Like maybe that thing that lovely young Corporal showed me back at the base, where you put in where you live and you can see your street, with cute little cars, and itty bitty people."

They regarded Vala quizzically, not seeing the relevance of the question. Willing to try anything at this point, McGee typed quickly and the map changed. He zoomed in on the first site.

She shook her head, emphatically.

"Not that one."

"What are you looking for?" Daniel queried, asking the question that was on everyone's mind, as McGee moved to the next site.

"Well, you need different things if you are hiding people or loot. People need to be fed. Unless they are gagged extremely well, there is a chance they can make a noise in an effort to be saved. So you need somewhere you can access at odd times, without attracting too much attention. Busy enough to get lost in the traffic, but the buildings would need to be separate enough that any noises wouldn't raise questions."

"Sounds like the voice of experience!" It was a muttered aside that everybody heard, and everybody carefully ignored.

Finally they narrowed it down to two sites. SG-1 and Gibbs' team would head to the first, and the team of marines the SGC had on standby would take the other down simultaneously.


	7. Chapter 7

They encountered no-one as they entered the warehouse, although there was evidence that people had been here. Food containers, cables left dangling as if laptops had quickly been unplugged and taken in a hurry, chairs, scuff marks as if someone had been dragged across the floor.

Suddenly standing still and listening, Teal'c inclined his head and motioned towards a closed door, which appeared to lead to a storeroom. With a nod, Mitchell indicated the positions for the team to take up, and NCIS backed them up. When everyone was in place, Teal'c was given the go ahead to open the door. As he reached for the handle though, a clear voice rang out.

"The first person through the door will be so full of holes they will look like a colander. I don't care which of you snakey bastards it is, I will not bow down to you and I will not let you hurt Sam."

The NCIS team exchanged puzzled glances.

"Cassie." Daniel started.

"Don't pretend to be all friendly. I will hurt you if you try and come in."

"Cassandra Abigail Frasier. What would your mother say if she could hear you now?"

"She would say, 'You go girl!'" the answer came back snippily, then "Daniel? Is that really you?"

"Yes it's me. And you are probably right, she would have." He answered with a chuckle.

A teary snort was heard, but then she demanded.

"Prove it. Who was your glowy girlfriend?"

"Cassie!"

"Who?"

He sighed. "Oma da Sala."

"And your space pirate girlfriend?"

He grimaced, even as Mitchell and Vala both grinned.

"Okay, you have had your fun. Come on out now."

"Who is there with you?" Her tone was a little shaky, as if she was afraid to hope.

Realising suddenly that she could sense both Teal'c and Vala, he named them and Mitchell, adding, "We also brought Sam's friend from NCIS and his team to join the party."

"Is Sam okay? Did you get the bad guys?"

All movement stilled, as Daniel steeled himself to ask the question.

"Isn't she in there with you?"

"They took her away, a few hours ago." Her voice was definitely shaking now.

There was a clattering from inside and slowly the door opened and Cassie stood, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the light. As soon as she could see, she threw herself into Daniel's arms.

"You have to find her! You have to. I don't know what they gave her, but it was bad!" Now that she was safe, the tears wouldn't stop and she sobbed all her fears into Daniel's shoulder.

"Ssssh, sssh. We'll find her. It's okay, I've got you."

While this had been happening, Gibbs had directed his team to search the rest of the warehouse. Realising Sam was not in the room with Cassie, they redoubled their efforts, but neither she nor anyone else was in the building.

After a brief consultation between Gibbs and Mitchell, Gibbs, Daniel and Vala took Cassie back to NCIS so Ducky could check her over before they interviewed her, while the rest remained to gather the evidence.


	8. Chapter 8

By the time Ducky had fussed over her, made her eat and drink something and then pronounced her physically unharmed, the teams had returned, leaving the SGC marines to guard the premises.

"Daniel, is she going to be OK? They used me to get to her. I don't know how because we only made arrangements to meet that morning, but they were there and waiting. If only I hadn't contacted her that morning, she would be OK."

"No Cassie, no! This is not your fault!"

Gibbs leant forward and caught her eyes.

"No, it's not. Your being there means you can help us now. And the more information you can give us, the quicker we can find her and put these guys where they belong."

"He's right Cass. Now can you think of anything, did you notice anything before they took you?"

"I'm pretty sure I wasn't followed. Did you find my laptop? I had it with me, and it has my IM with Sam saved on it. I have encryption of course, Sam set it up, but if they hacked it or something, maybe that's how they knew where we would be.

"Good thinking kiddo. Ziva!"

"I'll check with Abby."

"Get McGee to help her, there was a lot of stuff from the warehouse to process. Okay, Cassie, could you tell us what happened?"

This guy just walked up to us and told us we had to leave with them. He whispered something to Sam and she looked worried. She tried to get them to leave me, but they refused, called me 'insurance', and said we should go before innocents started getting hurt. So we did. They put us in the back of a van, scanned us with something, then one of them took a knife and cut into Sam's shoulder." Her voice wobbled a bit, but she took a deep breath and continued. "He took out the locater chip and destroyed it. She never made a sound. He put something on it, to stop the bleeding and then we drove for miles. It was dark by the time they dragged us into that warehouse. They shoved me in the storeroom and they started questioning her for the first time."

"Each time they took her it got worse. They threatened her, they hit her, then when she still wouldn't tell them anything, they injected her with something, some kind of drug, but she reacted badly to it. Maybe because of the ... , anyway, I heard them rushing around frantically, trying to keep her alive. Afterwards, they moved her back in with me to recover until they could try something else. She was in and out of consciousness, sometimes she recognised me, sometimes she didn't.

"What happened?" Daniel's voice was gentle.

_Sam weak thrashing stopped and her eyes fixed on Cassie's. _

_"So many dead, so much tragedy, I just wanted to protect you. I would have done anything. When you were safe again, I wanted to give you anything you needed. I had to let you go. It was best for you." _

_The lucidity came and went, and Sam rambled. Sometimes she saw Cassie, sometimes she seemed to look right through her, and sometimes even more frighteningly she seemed to be talking to people only she could see._

...

"_I loved you from the start. When I held you for the first time, I knew I would do anything for you. You were so beautiful, so perfect. It hurt so much to say goodbye, but I knew I had to, it was better for you, you couldn't stay with me. I hope you understand, it wasn't because I didn't love you, never that. Please tell me you forgive me."_

_..._

"_Make sure you look after each other. Promise me. He can't lose you too."_

_..._

"_You know he saved me, they both did. She took me under her wing, helped me deal with everything. He set me straight again, got me back on track. I can never repay what they did for me."_

_..._

"_When she died, I thought I had lost you all over again. My last link to you was gone. Somehow, he found the strength to make sure that didn't happen, in spite of his own pain."_

Ziva nudged Tony and with a nod directed his attention to Gibbs, who was listening with barely concealed pain, entirely focused on the teenager. As if he felt the scrutiny, he looked up, his normal mask falling into place.

Cassie's terrible tale wound to a close and the team scattered to try and track down any leads.

Cassie leaned into Daniel's shoulder and said quietly, aware of the possibility of being overheard. "Daniel, the men who took us, they were ... '_human_' ... I mean, I never felt, umm, noticed anything unusual ... _'please understand me' ..._ about them."

Daniel looked at her for a moment, then nodded in understanding. "OK. That's good to know. Was there anything at the warehouse, or anything they used?

"No, Danny Boy, no strange feelings, no spidey senses." Now that they were on the same page, she relaxed enough to be herself again.

"You have been spending far too much time with Jack, young lady." It was said with all seriousness, but there was a gleam in his eyes.

"Are you calling General Jack O'Neill of the Pentagon a bad influence?"

"Indeed."

"And you have been spending way too much time with T-Murray!"

With that they grinned at each other.

"I'm glad you're OK, Cass."

"Me too. Sam?"

"We'll find her."


	9. Chapter 9

Only McGee from his position within the lab saw the flicker of recognition followed by confusion in her eyes as she took in the sight of Abby Sciuto for the first time. It was hidden immediately as Abby turned from greeting Gibbs to pull Cassie into her arms.

"Gibb'll find her. She'll be OK."

Recognising somehow that the reassurance was as much for Abby's benefit as her own, Cassie replied.

"She'll be fine. The guys won't let her down."

Gibbs broke up the cheering up party by demanding an update.

"All my babies are running at full speed, Gibbs, analyzing everything we have so far. We were just about to start on the laptop," turning to Cassie, "maybe you could log us in, and stick around to see if you notice anything hinky."

"I'll leave you to it. Abs, I also want to know how they got her out of that warehouse."

"On it, bossman!"

Abby ushered Cassie over to McGee and set them working on the laptop, while she fluttered between them and the various programmes she had running.

Even as busy as she was, she managed to find time for a little interrogation.

"So, how do you know Sam?"

"My mother, Sam's best friend, adopted me when I was about 7. My parents had died. Sam and her team have been part of my life ever since."

"Wow. I'm adopted too, but I was adopted as a baby, so I never knew my mother. Where's your mom now, is she coming up to DC or is she in Colorado Springs?"

"Abby," McGee started warningly, having read the file, but Cassie shook her head and answered quietly.

"She died nearly two years ago. Sam and the team have been really good to me. She even got her assignment changed for a while so she could be nearer when I started at university." She received another full force Abbyhug for her troubles. Deciding that turnabout was fair play, she turned the interrogation back on Abby. "So how do you know Sam?"

"Oh, I met her through Gibbs. I have known Gibbs all my life, and when I moved to DC he looked out for me. He introduced me to Sam, she was stationed at the Pentagon back then, and we became good friends. I really missed her when she moved to Colorado Springs."

"I'm sure." Cassie nodded quietly, but her eyes had gone distant, as if she was trying to figure out the missing piece in a puzzle.

"So how does Sam know how to sign?" This was something that had been bothering McGee for a while now.

"Sam signs?" Cassie was surprised.

"Yeah. I don't know really. When I asked why she learned, all she said was that she knew someone who was learning to sign and she wanted to learn as well. She looked so sad though, that I didn't want to ask too many questions."

Any further revelations were put on hold by McGee's exclamation. He had found code on Cassie's laptop, showing how the kidnappers had been watching her communications with Sam. Gibbs walked in to find them in an excited huddle round the laptop, trying to trace where the information was sent to. After a moment of watching them, he announced his presence with a demand for an update. As Abby launched into an explanation complete with technical terms and Abbyisms, Cassie watched Gibbs' eyes soften as he watched her in full flow for a few seconds, before sharply barking out a request for the bottom line. Abby also took him through the results of some of her other tests that had been running in the background. A phone call from the Director called him away, but before leaving he met Abby's gaze with a shared grin and a nod that was an unspoken 'Good job.'


	10. Chapter 10

As he barged into Jen's office, he wondered why he had been summoned. He wasn't progressing as fast as he would have liked with this case, but he didn't think he had pissed anybody off recently. The other option was pressure from on high to solve this case and find Samantha Carter, like they would put more pressure on him than he was already putting on himself. When he saw the dress blues of a USAF general, he knew he was right. When the general turned, he realized that it wasn't political posturing that had brought him here though, this man cared a lot about Sam, probably more than he was supposed to. And so he resisted the urge to lay into Jen for politicking and updated them both on the progress so far. They were just discussing options when his cellphone rang, a summons to Abby's lab.

"Abs has something for me."

"If I may?"

He bit back his instinctive refusal, reminding himself who this man was to Sam, and who he was, he wasn't going to just get in the way.

He inclined his head in agreement and led the way to the elevators.

Jen watched Gibbs and O'Neill leave before turning to stare out of her window. This case was very personal to Gibbs, she could see that in his every reaction. But he was also acting extremely uncharacteristically, not arguing in the slightest about the USAF presence and involvement. He was actually playing nicely, for Gibbs. She would love to meet Sam Carter, and try to understand what she was to Gibbs to make him act this way.

* * *

"What is the one thing that every good smuggler needs?"

"Abs!" Gibbs' tone was warning, but Jack got into the spirit of things.

"Besides a black skullcap, probably a secret passage."

"He's good Gibbs, and you're no fun." Abby pouted at him, but continued. "I managed to pull the old schematics on the warehouse." Abby proclaimed with a grin that suggested it was wise not to ask how this had been achieved. "And it looks like there should be a basement which leads into these underground tunnels. My guess would be you need to look for the entrance in this section."

"We're heading out."

"Be careful Gibbs! And get our Sam back!"

He flashed her a smile and signed "Well done."

With a smile of his own for the bouncy lab tech, Jack made to follow Gibbs out of the room when suddenly he felt the familiar feeling and a bright light overwhelm him.

"For crying out loud Thor! How many times have I told you. You can't just go around beaming people up willy nilly..."

He turned to address his rant to the alien and saw that he had not been the only one beamed up, but Gibbs and Abby were there as well.

Gibbs had his sidearm out and trained on Thor, while Abby was staring at him with wide eyed wonder, almost bouncing on her feet.

Thor blinked at all of them before gravely addressing Gibbs.

"I mean you no harm, Special Agent Gibbs."

"He's a friendly, Gibbs, stand down." Jack interrupted quickly, gesturing for Gibbs to lower his weapon which he did somewhat grudgingly.

Turning back to the little alien, Jack continued.

"This is really not a good time, Thor buddy. Carter's been kidnapped and we need to get to her now."

"That is why I have brought you here O'Neill." Thor intoned gravely.

Gibbs' weapon was once again aimed at the grey alien.

"You took her? Where is she?"

"Stand down Gunny! Let's hear what he has to say first before shooting." Turning back to Thor. "Was it you? Because if it was we are going to be having some serious words."

"When I located Colonel Carter she was in serious distress. I removed her from her captors and placed her in a healing pod. She will be completely healed in a few minutes."

"She is OK? You saved her!" Abby spoke for the first time. Unable to contain her joy, she threw her arms around the little alien and hugged him fiercely. "Thank you! Thank you!" Suddenly realizing she may be hurting him, she pulled back quickly and started to stutter an apology.

Thor tilted his head to one side and regarded her gravely.

"You are very much your mother's daughter. She too has hugged me when in the grip of emotion. Although I admit I am not used to physical contact, I find it ... pleasurable ... from you."

"Thank you. Wait, you know my mother? How do you know my mother? What did you do to her? You didn't abduct her did you, because really, that is just rude, especially if you experimented on her. You didn't experiment on her did you? Because if you did I couldn't like you, well I could still be thankful that you saved Sam, but I couldn't like you, and right now I really want to like you."

Thor blinked somewhat bemusedly at the stream of words directed at him, but when she stopped for breath, he answered.

"She was helping us, in fact she did us a great service that day in helping rid our homeworld of a dangerous enemy.


	11. Chapter 11

Apologies for the long delay - hopefully it won't be so long again.

* * *

Abby's eyes were wide as she regarded Thor, trying to make sense of his words. She looked at the two men flanking her, O'Neill seemed surprised and confused in equal parts, Gibbs closed his eyes briefly then his face went carefully blank. Abby frowned as she recognised from Gibbs' expression that he knew at least something of what the little grey alien was talking about. Angry and hurt, she was about to demand answers when a pod appeared in a flash of light. Jack and Thor were immediately at its side, while Gibbs and Abby waited, unsure of what was happening now. Relief was evident when the retracting cover revealed Sam, and the sight of her waking up had Abby choking back tears.

Sam scanned the room, recognising the steel grey of an Asgard ship, relaxed and pulled herself up, expecting to see Thor and possibly SG-1. First she encountered a pair of concerned brown eyes, and a reflexive smile crossed her face, before she frowned and queried, "Cassie?"

"Safe. You?"

"Fine."

He rolled his eyes at the predictable response, but she looked okay, especially now that she knew Cassie was OK. She nodded and smiled a greeting to Thor, but the next two faces to greet her had her blinking and rubbing her eyes to clear them, disbelieving her senses. They were still there however and she cocked an eyebrow at the General in query.

"Thor." That and a shrug was his ever so helpful response.

This exchange broke the spell that held Abby in thrall and she rushed forward to pull Sam into a desperate hug, as if only feeling her would make it real. Sam quickly reciprocated, whispering gentle reassurances into her ear. Catching Jethro's eye, she held out one hand to him, the other still wrapped around Abby. At her side in an instant, he took her hand in a firm grip, his other hand going automatically to Abby's hair, soothing and reassuring her.

The quiet trio were only pulled back to reality by Jack's uneasy shuffling. He was beginning to get an idea of what Thor's comment had meant and he wasn't sure quite what to make of things. So he fell back on his usual defence mechanism.

"Well I guess we had better get our stories straight, because, ya know, the old 'abducted by an alien' story is not going to fly with NCIS."

A teary chuckle from Abby and a brilliant smile from Carter answered him. He grinned to himself, yup, he still had it.

"On a more serious note, we also need to have a word about non disclosure of everything you have seen."

Gibbs nodded. He recognised classified when he saw it, and this had to be classified into the stratosphere.

"We'll sign whatever we need to back at the base."

"Okay then. Next up then, I am guessing we can't just 'beam' back into your lab, our disappearance has probably already been noticed."

"Yeah."

Abby broke in, her brain slowly getting back into gear again after the rollercoaster of emotion.

"You guys were about to go to the warehouse when we .." an arm wave filled in the gap when words failed "and the plans were up on the screen."

"So anyone would assume we were heading there." Gibbs picked up her line of thought quickly.

"So Thor can send us to the warehouse where we can 'find' Carter and take her home." O'Neill wasn't a slouch in that department either.

"Where would you like me to transport the prisoners, O'Neill?"

The mild query from Thor had everyone staring at him in shock.

"Prisoners? What prisoners? You have the men who did this?"

"They were beamed into a secure room."

"They haven't seen anything?"

"No, they have had no contact with anyone or anything on the ship."

"Okay, I guess..," he looked at Gibbs and Carter for confirmation, then continued, "beam them down after us and we will arrest them on the ground."

Nods of agreement followed and everybody was preparing to 'beam' down when Abby held up both hands and stated firmly.

"Now, just hold on one minute here. I am glad that is all sorted out, and I am very glad that Sam is fine, and all this is very exciting and I am sure I will have like a million questions that I will wish I had asked about how everything on your ship works. And I know the team will be wondering where we disappeared to, well maybe not Gibbs so much, because he appears and disappears a bit like magic anyway, maybe you can explain to me how he does that because you seem to know so much about everything, but before I go anywhere I want to know what you meant about my mother."


	12. Chapter 12

Abby was so busy glaring at the alien and the two men, one of whom she was certain knew way more about this situation than she was happy with, that she didn't immediately notice Sam's reaction to her question, beyond the faint question, "Your mother?".

So she continued, "Yes, Roswell here, the great and mighty Thor, informed me that I was just like my mother and that she had saved his people. I assume he means my birth mother, because my mom never said anything to me about alien abductions or anything like that. But then, how does he know about my birth mother, when I don't even know who she is, and now I find out that Gibbs knows something about it. And I just want to know what is going on with my life."

Only when she came to the end of her mini rant did she notice that Sam had gone white and that she and Gibbs were holding a silent conversation with their eyes. Now she was even more confused and annoyed.

Abby's voice faded into the background for Sam as she processed her words. Feeling adrift, lost in a sea of questions and long hidden emotions, she looked up and blue eyes locked on blue. Her anchor, as ever - his concern and compassion were clear to her, as well as his support. She knew he would stand by her whatever she needed and decided.

Jack, watching the scene, was irresistibly reminded of the first time he had met Gibbs. Their stance, their communication, even the fleeting look of loss and then the strength she drew from him, were a replay of that first meeting he had witnessed. He couldn't help the stab of jealousy that someone else shared that level of closeness with his former 2IC, something he had thought was reserved for him, and that in these instances she turned to this other man for strength and support.

Sam pulled herself together, straightening her shoulders, and looked directly into Abby's eyes.

"I think we need to talk. Maybe we could ..."

"I'm guessing everyone else here knows what's going on, so what's the use of privacy now?"

The anger she was feeling was bubbling up very close to the surface, and though she knew she was being unreasonable she couldn't stop herself. Everything felt so out of control and she hated it.

A glance at Gibbs reassuring her, Sam took a deep breath.

"Abby, I am your mother."


	13. Chapter 13

"I was so young, I had to give you up for adoption. I wanted you to have the best in life, and I know you were well looked after ..."

She trailed off nervously as Abby gave absolutely no reaction to her words and looked over at Gibbs. Unsure of what was going to happen they found themselves watching Abby in silence.

Confusion turned to anger and boiled over. She did not need this, she had been investigating the loss of her friend, who now turned out to be her mother, but she refused to think about that now, she had been abducted by a real life alien, and had her life turned upside down. Enough was enough. She wanted to go home.

"No, no, no, no. I can't deal with this now. I need to go back to the lab, there are things I really should be doing. I need my computer and Major Mass Spec and Bert, I need Bert. It's time for us to go." Turning to Thor, she continued, "Thanks for everything, but I am ready to go now."

"Abs."

She swung to face Gibbs, glaring at him as she allowed the anger to spill over into words.

"No, don't you 'Abs' me. You knew, didn't you? You knew she was my mother. How long have you known? When did you find out? Did you know when you introduced us?" One look at Gibbs face and she glared even harder. "You did! You knew all this time. Were you ever going to tell me?" Suddenly a thought struck and she whispered, "No. You're not my father, are you? That would just be too weird. Please?"

"No I am not."

"He isn't."

The denials were simultaneous. And then silence fell again as all three stared at each other again.

Jack cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"I think Abby is right, we should be getting back. And it would probably be better to finish this discussion somewhere ... um ... else."

He watched as Sam pulled on her professional face, his heart aching for her, but now was not the time to try and comfort her, even if she would have accepted it.

Nods all round were his only answer, so he ran through the plan once more and then gestured for Thor to go ahead with beaming the three of them down first, then Sam's kidnappers, then once they were arrested, Abby would be beamed down. After that Gibbs would call his team for backup.

* * *

Tim wasn't particularly concerned when he first walked into Abby's lab to find it quiet and empty. She could have headed over to see Ducky about some evidence, or something like that. So he sat down to check on the progress of her searches while he waited for her. He was interested to see the schematics of the warehouse where they had found Cassie.

He had only vaguely realized with some surprise that she still hadn't returned, when the Director walked in. The information that Abby had called Gibbs down to show him something, and that neither Gibbs nor the Air Force General who had been with him had been seen since, worried him slightly. Of course, Gibbs came and went like the wind, and he had been particularly invested in this investigation. But the fact that Abby had not yet reappeared caused his gut to churn.

Before their queries to the teams and Ducky, which turned up no more information, turned concern into panic, Tony received a phone call from Gibbs, informing them of his capture of the kidnappers and recovery of Sam Carter, and requesting transport for their prisoners.

Relieved as they all were, it took all of Jenny's convincing to keep both teams waiting for the missing people to return, instead of rushing over immediately to the warehouse. Thus, they were all clustered in the bull pen when the quartet returned.

Abby's immediate departure for her lab and the sadness in Sam's eyes as she watched her go, was only peripherally noticed in those first moments, as everyone crowded round Sam to welcome her back. As SG-1 hugged her though, they realized that as pleased as she was to see them again, she was hiding a deep sadness. They noticed that both Gibbs and O'Neill stayed close at all times, never more than an arm's length away. Something more had happened than they knew of as yet.


	14. Chapter 14

Gibbs brought them all up to speed on the rescue and arrest (the official version anyway) with only a few interruptions from Jack. He then ordered Tony and Ziva to proceed with the interrogation. Tony looked surprised, he had expected Gibbs to insist on conducting it himself, but nodded in acknowledgement. Jack, after catching Sam's eyes briefly, stated he and Teal'c would be observing.

The rest of SG1 retired to the conference room Jenny had set aside for their use, allowing Ducky to take a look at Sam, and for Sam, Cassie and the team to have a more personal reunion.

"I was expecting you to be in a much worse shape after what we heard from young Cassandra here." Ducky observed as he finished up.

Sam grimaced slightly, but answered smoothly enough.

"I tend to have unexpected reactions to drugs, and whatever they gave me I reacted pretty badly to, but now that it is all out of my system, I am fine, just a bit tired."

Daniel wondered if there had been a Goauld involved in spite of what Cassie had thought, and if an encounter with a sarcophogus was the reason there were no sign of injury.

"Cassie said there wasn't any, you know." he waved vaguely at the back of his neck.

"There wasn't, we just took a side trip via the Norse express on our way back." She pulled Cassie into her arms, "I am so glad you are okay. They didn't hurt you in any way, did they?"

"No, I was just worried about you. You were so out of it there for a while, and then when they found me, you were gone, and we didn't know where you were, or how to find you."

"We're both fine now."

* * *

He stopped in the doorway, observing her. The music was deafening and Abby was sitting in front of her computer as usual. However, she was blindly starting at her screensaver and hugging Bert as if her life depended on it. His heart breaking at seeing her so lost, and at the knowledge that upstairs Sam was hurting just as much, he wasn't sure if anything he said right now would help, but he had to try. Two of the people he loved most in the world were in pain.

He moved into the lab, was almost by her side, when she spoke without turning round.

"Not yet Gibbs. I'm not ready yet."

A few more steps had him standing behind her. His hand gripped her shoulder gently as he placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"Whenever you're ready."

Then he strode out as quietly as he had arrived, and headed for interrogation.

* * *

McGee had taken the General and Murray to the observation room. Even though he was worried about Abby, he stayed to watch the interview, realizing that the only reason Gibbs wasn't here was because he must be talking to Abby. He would go see her later, and see if there was anything he could do about whatever it was that was bothering her.

Slow but surely, Tony and Ziva drew the story out of the two men. The part that had them raising their eyebrows in disbelief, was when they swore that Carter had disappeared in a bright white light, and then they had found themselves in a sealed room. After being stuck there for an indeterminate amount of time, another bright light had deposited them in front of the two men who had arrested them.

McGee and Murray had turned to the General, who had simply shrugged as if to say, well what can you do?

Gibbs marched in just as the interview was winding up. They joined Tony and Ziva in the corridor. Tony was still shaking his head over the unbelievable story they had just heard.

"Hey Boss. I think these guys are trying to set up a psych defence. Either that or they are seriously far too into Star Trek. They swear they were transported into a sealed room by a white light, and then back out again just in time to be arrested. Did you see any white light, Boss?"

Gibbs slapped him on the back of the head.

"Right Boss, silly question. Any way, did you know they created that special effect using silver paper." As Gibbs threatened to slap him again, he ducked and continued. "Moving on Boss. They have admitted to kidnap charges."

* * *

McGee quickly made his way down to the lab. Abby however was frenetically typing, and cataloguing evidence, as hyper as the time she drank 13 Caf-Pow's in one morning. She refused to stop or even slow down for a moment to chat to him and simply ignored him when he asked what was wrong.

Neither Tony nor Ziva had any more success when they wandered down a little later.

* * *

Jenny had watched their return from the balcony, and had seen the interaction between Gibbs, Sam and Abby, and the look Gibbs and Sam shared when she had disappeared towards the elevator. Pain and comfort. She had made her way downstairs once the initial enthusiastic welcome was over and said all the necessary things, made the necessary arrangements, and watched.


	15. Chapter 15

The first time she noticed someone there was when the music was turned down to conversation level and the redhead who then moved to sit opposite her central bank of computers, in her eyeline.

She sighed. She had been able to put the others off by claiming sheer volume of work, and when that didn't work, by ignoring them. That would not work here. She could only hope that the Director was here about another case.

"Director. How can I help you?"

"You can tell me how you are doing."

"Just fine, Director. Busy. You know."

Jenny just looked at her, one eyebrow slightly raised, and waited.

With another deep sigh, she turned to face her.

"Yes, I will talk to Gibbs, no, I won't do it now and no, I don't need anything. Now does that answer all your questions, or was there something else?"

"I'm not here to talk, Abby, I'm here to listen."

"I don't want to talk about Gibbs right now. And I really don't want to talk about how angry I am with him, and how he has been lying to me for yea ... no make that all my life. Nor do I even want to think about the fact that he introduced me to my mother, watched us become friends and never said a word about it. And I definitely don't want anyone to know how confused this whole thing has made me, because I want to be mad, but I want to be happy, and I am hurt and I understand. So until I can even vaguely get my head around the whole thing, I don't want to talk to anybody."

She stopped for a breath and frowned when she realized that in spite of everything, Jenny had managed to get her to talk.

"You've known him all your life?"

"Yeah, he's a family friend. Some years we only saw him on flying visits, depending on where he was based or what assignment he was on. Sometimes, when he was stationed nearby, I used to see him regularly and he would take us kids out to the park at weekends, or camping, or whatever. Then I decided to move to DC for college and he was here at NCIS headquarters, and he helped me get settled, kept an eye on me, and I guess you know the rest."

"And you were adopted?"

"Yes, my parents, my adoptive parents, couldn't have kids, so they adopted three of us. They fostered a couple of others over the years as well."

"You were happy?"

"Yeah. They were good to me, to all of us. There was always plenty of love to go around."

"Did Gibbs know you wanted to find your birth mother?"

"My parents knew I had been thinking about it and I guess I just assumed he knew as well. But now I think about it, I hadn't discussed it with him yet. I began making enquiries into how the process worked a few years ago, but never followed through at the time. Too much else going on. I was just thinking about starting the search seriously again recently."

She huffed quietly and mock glared at the older woman.

"I guess that means you think I can't be mad at him for not telling me."

Jenny just smiled.

"So Colonel Carter is your mother."

"Yes. How did you ...? You are more like Gibbs than you know, Madam Director."

"There is no need to be rude, Abby." She grinned to soften the comment, then continued. "It is subtle but it is there, the likeness."

Abby's answering grin faded slowly.

"I only just found out. And it was by mistake, it wasn't like it was something they were going to tell me. And yeah, I know, they didn't know I wanted to know, but still!"

"Gibbs isn't ..."

"No. They both say no."

Abby pretended she hadn't noticed the brief expression of relief on Jenny's face.

"And what are you going to do now."

"I guess I have to talk to them both."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each thinking their own thoughts.

There was a tentative knock at the door to the lab. Cassie stood, uncertainly, at the entrance, waiting to confirm whether she was welcome to enter.

Abby waved her in. Jenny wondered whether she should leave, but decided that unless it became obvious that either of them didn't want her here she would stay. The young girl didn't seem to be on the attack, but just in case, she was prepared to defend Abby.

"I just wanted to see how you were. We were worried when we couldn't find you."

"I'm fine. Thank you."

Cassie kicked at the floor before straightening her shoulders in a very Sam-like gesture.

"Are you related to Sam?"

Abby just stared at her.

"She hasn't said anything to me," she defended quickly, "it's just... She doesn't know, but I saw the album. I thought I recognised you when we first met, but it was only a little while ago that I realized where I had seen you before."

"Album?"

"Sam has this photo album hidden away. I found it one day while I was playing. All the pictures are of the same person, from baby pictures right up to adulthood, with school pictures, graduation pictures and candid photos from barbeques, parks, all sorts. They are all of you."

Abby stood still, tears in her eyes, unable to speak.

"I'm sorry I never meant to upset you. I shouldn't have asked, I always was too curious for my own good. I'll go now. I'm sorry."

With two steps Abby was beside her, and wrapped the younger girl in a huge hug.

"It's OK. I'm glad you told me."


	16. Chapter 16

Vala had finally persuaded the guys that a refreshments run was required, and general consensus was that Cameron and Daniel should escort her, to protect Washington DC.

So when Abby poked her head around the conference room door, it was only Sam, Gibbs and O'Neill sitting around the table, with Gibbs having just finished updating them on the case.

Gibbs after glancing at both his girls stood to leave but a hand on his arm stayed him. A wordless conversation ensued, finishing with a nod on his part. Rather than sitting down again though, he moved to stand behind Sam's chair.

A quiet, "You're welcome to stay, Sir, as long as Abby is okay with it.", along with a nod from Abby, released Jack from his own indecision and he sank back down into his chair. Not entirely comfortable with the possible emotional outburst to come, but unwilling to leave Sam to an unknown situation. Sure she had her Gibbs' protector, but...

Abby simply waited while they sorted themselves out. She had no problem with Gibbs staying, now that she had calmed down, and the General, well he had been there for all the rest, so what the hell.

"Sam." Her voice broke just a little; she swallowed hard and started again. "Sam, I am sorry. I was too confused and angry and all over the place, to listen before, but I would like to hear more."

"You've done the math?"

"Yeah."

"So you know I was young, much too young to look after you properly. Never mind the fact that my father would have killed me if he had found out."

"Dad never knew?" Shock wrung the question from Jack, but he quickly sat back and waved vaguely as if to say 'Carry on, I'm not here.', but not before Abby regarded him rather oddly.

Sam just shrugged and otherwise ignored the outburst. Quietly, reflectively, she started telling her story, splitting her focus between Abby and a spot on the floor.

"My mother died when I was thirteen, nearly fourteen. She was in a taxi that was hit by a drunk driver. At first, for a couple of months really, I was just numb. It didn't feel real. I wandered through each day, going through the motions. Then I got angry. My father was supposed to pick her up but he was working late, as usual, and couldn't make it. If he had only gone to get her she wouldn't have been in that taxi and she wouldn't have been dead.

I started sneaking out, going to parties, anything to get back at my father. Anyway, he was working even more than before, which meant that for a while he didn't even notice. Finally, he did and the blowout was even bigger than I expected. He grounded me of course, and gave me this long lecture about appropriate behaviour and what did I think I was doing, and how dare I drag his name through the mud. He was hoping to make General soon and my behaviour was a stain on his reputation, etc, etc, etc.

Needless to say that didn't stop me, it just made me angrier. Anyway, there was this guy, another Forces brat, and we bonded over shared experiences and a bad attitude. He was so cool, so beautiful and so angry at the world. We discussed life, death and how to fix the world, we drank and we did what teenagers do. Of course, looking back, I can see he wasn't exactly stable, but then I'm not sure I was at the time, and I guess I've always been drawn towards the lunatic fringe.

His father was transferred suddenly and overnight he was gone. I mourned his loss, and I sulked. Fortunately for all of us, he had held more attraction for me than the party life.

Six months later, my Dad had been deployed away from home. Mark was deemed old enough for us to be left alone, and a neighbour kept an eye out.

I hadn't been feeling too well, so after school one day I went to the doctor in town, I hated the base doctor and his nurse was so nosy. The doc told me that I was seven months pregnant. I hadn't even considered the option, my periods had only just started when my Mom died, and since then, with the stress and everything, they had been decidedly erratic ever since.

I found myself in the park a little later, trying to make sense of everything and decide what to do.

This lady with a newborn in a pram came and sat on the bench next to me. When the baby started fussing she lifted her out and rocked her, humming softly. She asked if I would mind holding the baby while she got her food ready. I was shocked and uneasy, but she placed the baby in my arms and made sure I was supporting her head, and suddenly it felt less uncomfortable.

I was mesmerised. She was so tiny, wrapped in her little pink blanket, tufts of reddish blonde hair peeking out from under her cap. Her blue eyes were so serious as she inspected this stranger who was holding her. Deciding somehow that she was safe, and I was acceptable, she waved a tiny fist the solemnly began sucking on it. Such a tiny, fragile life and she was trusting me.

Her mother handed me the bottle, showed me how to hold it and allowed me to cuddle her baby while she watched over both of us. I don't know what she saw in me, but she gave me a great gift that day.

Suddenly I found myself telling her everything, eyes glued on the baby's face as she sucked with great concentration, turning the bottle gently. Everything came out in a jumble of words – my mother's death, my depression, my anger, the boy, the baby, the decisions I was suddenly faced with.

She made appropriate noises and let me ramble. When I finally ground to a halt, she lifted the baby against my shoulder, showing me how to rub her back and burp her. Then she suggested that as it was clouding over, I should join her for cake at the local coffee shop.

_'I make it a rule never to make major decisions without a good night's sleep, talking to a friend' she grinned mischievously, 'or chocolate.'_"


End file.
